There are so many discussions going on in private groups about sexual life of married couples and how it is influenced by the changes in the family’s cycle. And, as much as I am fond of personal stories, due to the fact that they’re so real in terms of emotional impact of events, I always prefer to check what researcher have to say about each topic. I use the preciseness and endurance of science people to understand what is the general perception and situation of a particular topic. That being said, I navigated about the topic ‘Sexual Life of Married Couple’ and I found several interesting studies of the last decade. I read studies of: Y2015, Y1026, Y2018 (still on) attained in US and Europe. I’d like to bring to your attention some of the key findings of these studies:
Married people have more sexual reports than single people.
Married people have on average 58 times/year sexual intercourses with their partners. Younger aged couples having on average 82 sexual intrecourses/year and older aged couples around 20 sexual intercourses/year. The average number of times having sex is reduced by 9 over the last 20 years. Adults are having less sex as time passes.
Around 15% of married couples live sexless marriages. These couples are more likely to request divorce.
Sex problems in couple start with the birth of children or during affairs of one of the partners. This is the moment most married couples slow down or even stop having sex with their partners. Unfortunately, such change does impact their sexual life for a long time.
Other factors for reduction of sex desire are: illness, lack of desire, lack of communication, stress, fatigue, technology (mobiles and laptops), internet (social networks), etc.
People who have more sex tend to live happier lives, due to the fact that during sex the brain releases oxytocin, the love hormone. But this is not true for family satisfaction and sex frequencies more often than once per week. This frequency (once per week) is considered to be the golden medium in terms of reaching a satisfying marriage. Have more often sex not necessarily make people more happy in their marriages.
Men are more likely to demand sex from their partner compare to women. This is what they are lacking most from their marriage.
Men who perform more sexual intercourses are less likely to have cancer of prostate.
These were some of the finding I found interesting. I believe they serve as a good base to see the matter of married couples sexual relationships in bigger picture. Personal stories are strong, many of them advocate that moving on with new partners might be a life-changing solution. But, as soon as all of us understand the pattern of the phenomenon, we may see these issues from a different point of view and find strength inside self and our relationship to improve family happiness. Family cycle carries different phases, but we should be careful to understand which changes are happening due to the changes in family cycle and what are the real problems we are facing as couple. In crisis situations, lack of love-making and lack of sexual attraction, we should ask for help and see experts that can help us clarify our issues and find back the reasons we got together in the first place. In the middle of parenting dilemmas, we should never forget we are individuals as well, and deserve a good life in order to be able to give our best as parents, children, sisters, brothers, friends …
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