Several years ago I’ve written a lot about Change as a management theme. I recall many articles in my blog about change, how does it influence our professional and personal life, how should we handle it, and other similar stuff. At the time I was not a parent yet, and I was pretty sure I understood very well the subject. I even prepared a training module on Change Management, which was liked from many people. What I didn’t know at the time was that all my believes and opinions about change will be seriously challenged with the arrival of my own little baby.
“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” – George Bernard Shaw
The first challenge was to handle my status change. Becoming mother of a little boy turned ups and down my whole life. Suddenly, I found myself having time for nothing. My agenda ended up in the trash as my new boss, my little boy, was the one who decided for everything in my day. Sometimes I found myself looking at the baby in my arms wondering how was possible that all my mastery in management and leadership could not help me with him. Believe me, that was a real huge change in my life.
Secondly, people I spent more time with, changed. I became best friend with other mothers, many of them wonderful house wives, but very different from the professional people I used to associate before. I started to read, like and follow mothers and children stuff; things I’d never cared about. I started to choose the places I frequented based on changed criteria: does it have a toilet room dedicated for babies, can I access it with the ‘limousine’ (I called like this the baby carriage of my boy), is it quite enough for my boy to be able to sleep and so on. I found little time to write in my blog and to read professional literature.
My personal space disappeared, everything in my room, bathroom, library was different. My son’s stuff was spread all over the place and I kept wondering how come such a little baby needed so much stuff, some of them not handy at all. (I’ll write an article this week with some advice for new parents not to repeat my mistakes when having their first baby). The only one thing that did not change for worse in my life was my relationship with my lover, my partner. On contrary, the presence of our baby increased our love and strengthen our relationships.
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However, all I mentioned were not my biggest challenges. My sons’ behavior after he turned 12 months was the real challenge for my change’s principals. I advocated the freedom, parents should give to children to make them explore world freely and to learn how to deal with change. But, this was not so easy to put in practice. My son was so vivacious, that he would not stand two seconds in one place. Instead of starting to walk, he would run furiously, thus frightening me to death of getting hurt. Due to such fears I caught myself doing opposite actions to what I believed; and for me being so strong and loyal to my principles, this was a big change.
“Allow your children to make mistakes as this is the way they explore the world in front of them.” I used to write, but I hated when my baby boy was throwing everything on the ground, breaking things up and splash everything. Sometimes, it was very difficult for me to restrain myself in order to allow my boy to explore things at his paste. I found his rhythm of change tremendously fast for my taste and very tiresome. But, after observing carefully his behavior I understood that this was just his eagerness to learn new things and fast changing helped him to enjoy the process of exploration of the world. This was the moment I did the final change and became part of my son’s dance with the change. My fears disappeared and our time spent to explore new things was so much fun and full of joy.
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” – Alan Wilson Watts
My son taught me the biggest lesson on Change: “Change is not the biggest challenge, it is a way to live life faster and joyful like a child.” So, my professional advice for you my dear parents is to allow change to be integral part of your children lives. Let them freely explore the world and join them as their equal partners in this process. You’ll be surprised how much we have to learn from our children intelligence and the way they see the world. Sometimes, having a sincere counselor help us as adults to see world more clearly and to accept events and facts of live easier.
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