Pregnancy is over, family is expanded with an angel, and life is not anymore the same. But, there is one particular relationship between the happy couple, that needs to be nourished and ‘recovered’. The need for physical intimacy, sex, is present in the air. The big question is: what is the right time for the couple to resume sexual relationships? Certainly, the ‘right time’ refers to woman, as she is the one who have suffered injuries from partum and her body has undergone tremendous changes. What is that particular moment when the new mama feels ready to have sex, physically and mentally wise?
There is not a scientific timing to show the right time to have sex again. It is an individual approach and ladies say that they experienced different timing for sex desire from one partum to the other. General consent is that a woman need to pass the famous 40 days of puerperium, before her body is ready to resume sexual relationships. But, this consent is about the physiological side. What about the psychological side? How much time a woman need to desire to have sex again? There is a huge discussion around the world among women and men about this topic. Men complain their sexual life gets destroyed after having children. Women complain for lack of understanding on men’s side regarding the time needed to get ready to have sex again.
I read the results of their annual survey at Motherhood site, and based on answers given from 6,457 participants (mainly new mothers), 40% said they had post-partum sex without being ready to do so. This is a very high percentage of women performing undesired sex during a very delicate phase of their life. But, why women feel obliged to have undesired sex with their partners? Is it because of the pressure from their male partners? Or due to their fears of loosing their partners due to lack of sexual intimacy between them? I believe is both and I’d like to add one other factor influencing such situation. Since in childhood, women are taught to sacrifice themselves for the better of the family. So, our 40% women are OK to disrespect their own needs in order to keep the family together.
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I do not want to go on the moral side of this situation, but I’d rather like to point out its medical side stipulations. Women that have too early post-partum sex, may face health issues as their symptoms from partum are not fully recovered yet (wounds, bones movements, etc.) Women performing undesired sex, may face anxiety and depression problems. Their self-esteem is destroyed and may cause serious mental and interpersonal problems.
It is very important for male partner to understand and respect his partner’s need for time to get ready to have sex again. Desired sexual relationships are more pleasant and reinforce the couple relationship. Post-partum period will come to an end sooner or later and understanding partners will make sure that they come out of it as a stronger and happier family.
I’m very curios to hear your thoughts about this subject in the comment box below, both women and men’s way of perception and evocation of this aspect of couple’s sexual life.
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