It is common understanding, even confirmed by science, that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a difficult one. I’ve seen many types of such relationships evolving in different ways. I’ve seen mother-in-laws loving and accepting their sons’ brides at first, that ended up in a huge conflict between all three of them. I’ve seen mother-in-laws denying the relationship with son-in-law at first, and ended up in loving and respecting relationships. I’ve seen sons abandoning their parents due to the tough relationships they (parents) had with their brides. I’ve seen couples busted up, due to failure in relationship with in-laws. Unfortunately, most of the time these relationships, earlier or later, produce negative emotions in the family.
The big question is: What can we do to make our in-laws, especially the chief commander, Mother-in-law love us? How can we win her heart? I’ll try to give you a hand and with some tips, necessarily to build a real and good relationship with your mother-in-law.
Tips for Relationship Building with Your Mother-in-Law
Be Real with your Mother-in-Law
Since the first time your mother-in-law will be very curious to know the real you. Do not forget that this is a long time relationship and acting it as a play could be almost impossible. Take the decision to be yourself with your in-laws since the first day. This is the only strategy that will allow you to build a real relationship with your new family.
Show Respect All the Time
Your mother-in-law will never love you the same way as her children. The same is expected on your side. But, you must always be respectful in your behavior regarding your in-laws. Respect and good manners are signs of maturity and politeness. Your mother-in-law will feel more comfortable having a mature person in family. Raising the voice is one of the worst things you could do while communicating with your in-laws.
Do not Gossip about Your New Family and Mother-in-Law
We live in a small world and people are connected in strange ways. It is a very bad habit to gossip about your relationship with your mother-in-law (even online). Hearing from other people (strangers) your family issues is a real faith breaker. Your mother-in-law will not believe you anymore and will misunderstand everything you do or say; and, by default your life will turn into a very difficult one.
Be Consistent in Your Behavior
Many brides I know, have changed a lot after giving birth to their children. They believe their position within the family is stronger at the moment they bring a heir in life. Unfortunately, this is not true. A new family member brings a lot of joy and positive emotions in family, but bad behavior could easily erase all of them. The relationship Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law is longer in place, than the date of birth of the first child, and requires consistency in order to be a good one. Mother-in-laws has already experienced the same things when gave birth to their children and know what to expect. They will be very strong in their requirements for good behavior from the bride.
Find Things You Like Commonly
If you want to build a good relationship with your mother-in-law, you should look for common hobbies. Doesn’t matter how small they could be, sharing common stuff is crucial to build a tie together, outside the in-law relationship that brought you together.
Never Misuse the Love of Your Husband and Children
Your mother-in-law is very keen of your husband and your children. Do not abuse with her love for them. A good relationship between you should be based on a dual exchange among you two. Using children and husband’s love as a ‘weapon’ to gain power in your relationship is wrong on your side. This way, you’ll destroy any direct tie between your mother-in-law and yourself.
If You Can, Show Love to Your Mother-in law
Love is the answer of many big problems, especially on relationships side. The ability to show love to people is a gift & treasure to build a positive life. Since Day 1, show love to your mother-in-law. Consider her someone you happen to encounter in life and you’d like to share some of your love with. In the end of the day, you have lots of reasons to love her: she gave birth and raised the man standing next to you, she is the grandma of your children, and she is the host of the new family you consciously decided to become part. As the song says: “Love is the answer”. Should you find enough strength inside you, show true love to your mother-in-law. I’m sure the energy of universe will come back to you in the same way.
Always, Helps Your In-laws (physically, spiritually and financially)
Your partner for life has obligations toward his/her parents. Do not forget to fulfill those obligations all the time, even when it seems they do not need them. Meeting obligations toward your in-laws, is a sign of respect and good will. Attention! Do not vilify what you do, otherwise your actions will turn against you. As I said in the beginning, your relationship should be real and based on respect.
These were my tips on how to make your mother-in-law love you. Apply them truly in your family relationships, and let me know what were the results. I’m sure most of your messages with be thankful ones. Do not forget to apply them for real, not just pretending to do so. Enjoy Your Happy family Life!
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