How Many Times do Poor Parents really “die”?

There is a phrase I like a lot: “Brave-hearts die once, while cowards die 1000 times”. People use it to get courage to live a true life without fear and with dignity. But, this could be true till the day someone become a parent.

Parents are not cowards, but they “die” many times during their parenting life. I’m sure you understand I’m talking about emotional death, dear friends. Today, I lived a similar experience. I took my little diamond out and while we were going down the stairs, she almost felt downstairs. I believe in that particular moment, until I grabbed her by the arm, I saw many images passing in front of my eyes.

I’ve heard many people talking about seeing the “movie of own life” in the very last moment before experiencing death. I’ve never doubt such testimonies. But, today I can confirm the feeling. Today, I experienced an emotional death moment. I’m still under the strong effect of what happened and continue to thank God giving me the strength to hold my daughter’s arm in the very last moment. Even though nothing bad happened, I felt the bitterness of the event straight to my soul.

The Parenting “Deaths”

This made me think on how many times a parent could experience such a feeling. Life has become so dangerous, that allows for similar situations to happen all the time. When children are small, like my daughter’s case, they are in danger of similar accidents at home, at the stairs, in the street or like the case of the Spanish toddler, who fell into the well left opened, while playing out with his siblings.

When children turn to teens, there are the risks of drugs, teens’ fights, car accidents, etc. And even when the children turn adults, anything could happen to them. Some days ago, a dear friend of mine lost his life while was waiting in the sidewalk. His mother was completely destroyed from the unexpected lost of her son. She kept repeating she did not knew what to say to his 6 years old son, who kept asking for the father.

Physical danger is one of the fears parents suffer for children. Another type of “death” parents face is the leftover of their proud. When you’re a parent, you have the responsibility to cover children well-being financially. To do that, sometime they have to do compromises they do not like, especially in their professional career. I’m talking about: tolerating an unprofessional boss, accept unfair treatment at work, continue to do a job you do not like, and more.

I know parents, which in the name of their responsibilities, have accepted the infringement of their own dignity. I do not want to judge anyone, but I consider such action another important internal death. And, this is probably the most costly “death” a parent could experience.

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Is there Light in the Horizon?

Parenting is a transforming experience. Most people perceive it as satisfying and growing experience. As I’ve told before, I live my parenting as the most challenging experience so far in my life. But, I’m a pretty young parent, and I’m hoping for better years to come.

I count on the value of experience. As many friends of mine say, the more experience you get as parent, life gets easier. Children grow up, they need less physical attention and get to do more things on their own. I’m looking forward for that phase of my parenting. Even though I know careless life is over forever. For now, I keep praying for help to God to give me strength and courage to raise my daughter safe and sound.

What are your experiences with parenting “deaths” dear friends? How did you handle them. Let’s share some moments among parents, as a contribution to give courage to new parents feeling stretched and overwhelmed.

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